eHarmony

I recently have experienced a lot of changes in my life. I moved into my new apartment, started my new job, and became single. All in the same week. It was a hectic week. I'm not really sure how I managed but here I am 6 weeks later settling into my new situation.

Now that it's been six weeks or so of singledom, I decided I wanted to sign up for an online dating site. Okay I know what you're thinking. Let me just stop you right there before you go into a lecture about how I need to be by myself for awhile and enjoy some healthy alone time. No, I am not trying to find a rebound. No, I am not just going to settle for anyone so that I don't have to be alone. I know it's only been six weeks, not six years. I just thought it would be fun and a nice distraction from the sadness I still feel from the breakup.

So I decided I would try eHarmony. I signed up for Match.com before so I wanted to do something different. I started my profile and had to save it because it was so long. I couldn't finish it in one sitting. I thought, wow, they are asking so many good questions. This really is a good dating site. I can't wait to see who are my potentials! I click on the submit now to see your matches with a hopeful air...

And here is the polite rejection letter I got from eHarmony.

Unable To Match You At This Time

eHarmony is based upon a complex matching system developed through extensive research with married couples. One of the requirements for successful matching is that participants fall within certain defined profiles. If we find that we will not be able to match a user using these profiles, we feel it is only fair to inform them early in the process. We are so convinced of the importance of creating compatible matches to help people establish happy, lasting relationships that we sometimes choose not to provide service rather than risk an uncertain match. Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you. Our matching model could not accurately predict with whom you would be best matched. This occurs for about 20% of potential users, so 1 in 5 people simply will not benefit from our service. We hope that you understand, and we regret our inability to provide service for you at this time.

So now here I am, an eHarmony reject. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. This could be interpreted as a confirmation that I am unmatchable. That could explain why all of my relationships have ended. Perhaps this means that all my future relationships will end as well resulting in my never finding my romantic happy ending.

Or it could be bullshit. eHarmony doesn't know me! Fuck you eHarmony!

The optimist in me is going with the bullshit. Apparently I'm just too complicated a woman to fit into even the most complex dating formulas. I'm looking forward to meeting my match one day who is just as complicated as me... the old fashioned way.