The Gift of Betrayal

Despite all of the hurt and pain I feel from this horrendous double betrayal, there is one gift that I have received as a result of this incident. I am utterly grateful and appreciative of everyone who has supported me during this difficult time. I know that I have friends and family that love me, I have always known this, but to really see it in action was a blessing. I never want to take it for granted again.

Before this episode, I kept saying that I didn't have any friends because I had to distance myself from the group of people that I had hung out with for the last two years. I did so because they were all friends with my ex too and I had to get over him so I had to remove myself completely. I felt lonely and it was really hard. But when this terrible incident happened this weekend, the people that were calling me were not the group of friends I missed. They were the ones that live in DC, Ohio, Chicago, Canada, and England. They were the ones that answered the phone at 6:30 in the morning because I was having a breakdown. They were the ones that noticed when I fell off the grid and made an effort to still hang out with me. They were the ones that I hadn't seen in months but still showed up at my door with cupcakes and a shoulder to cry on. They were the ones that continued to check on me everyday to see how I was doing. I have the best friends anyone could ever ask for and I just wish there was some way for me to better express my gratitude.

And my family... we have never been a very close family but I know that when it really counts, when I really need them, they are there for me. They were so concerned for my well being and safety and just wanted to make sure I was okay. They made every phone call necessary to get the help I needed. They sat with me and just held me while I cried. They kept me company all day on Monday while I tried to recover from the shock. They prepared food for me and tried to get me to eat. They even made sure that I took care of the bare necessities like washing my hair and brushing my teeth. They looked after me when I couldn't.

Without all of this support, I don't know what would have happened to me. I am feeling better today and even though I know this is going to be a long healing process and that I will have good days and bad days, I feel like I can get through this now. I want to get better not only for myself, but for each and everyone of these people that love and care for me and just want to see me happy. They give me the strength to feel like I can do anything. And I am not going to let two people who know nothing about compassion, loyalty, and love get in my way any longer.