Alone in the Apartment

My roommate just finished moving out most of her stuff tonight including her bed so I am now alone in my 3 bedroom apartment. Being here alone with both of my roommates moved out reminds me of when we moved in a year ago. I was the first one to move in and I stayed in the apartment a couple days by myself with Nick before the other two moved in. Looking back, it is difficult to see myself so happy and hopeful at such a promising living situation. I had no idea how badly it would turn out. A week later, Nick broke up with me and a few months after that, things would start to go downhill with the roommates.

I don't even really know what happened. Perhaps when things aren't so raw, I can look back and try to analyze if there was anything that I could have done differently. I know for sure that I could have communicated more. But it is difficult to do so when you feel outnumbered. They don't say three's a crowd for nothing. And it doesn't help that I already seem to have issues with standing up for myself, or so I've been told.

I am back where I started, alone in the apartment, but so much has changed in the last year. I think tonight is a night for reflection, since the apartment has come full circle.

Before the apartment, I was really happy with my boyfriend and with my group of friends. For a year, we had the best time together. I was so happy to be in LA and to reconnect with my high school friends and to meet new people through them. I was really happy to meet a whole new person I could love in someone I thought I knew already. The only things missing were an apartment and a good job.

Now I have the apartment and the good job, but I don't have a boyfriend or that group of friends anymore. Even though I still have two of the four, I have the lonely items.

The new month starts tomorrow, as does my new lease, and I hope with this new beginning, I can live a happier life, which will hopefully attract the two missing pieces that everyone needs in their life.