Well here I am starting over once again. I've said this so many times in the last two years. I hope this is the last time I will be saying it for awhile. It's hard to start over.
I was tempted to say that I am right back where I started from, but I know that's not true. So much has happened in the last two years that I can't dismiss the experiences that I've had. With each difficult situation, I have grown from the challenges. I know that. But I am still so far from where I want to be that it seems like I've only taken a few steps towards the things I want in life. I have grown weary of constantly facing the challenges and convincing myself that everything is okay and that I will eventually get to where I want to be. I'm so tired.
I feel like I've become bitter and cynical, and I don't want to be that way. It's not me. Sometimes I can catch glimpses of the old me underneath all the negativity but I've been seeing her less and less. I hope she doesn't disappear completely because I like her. She was more likable than the new me, which is obvious considering my current social circle, or the lack thereof.
If it's possible universe, can you please let me have a freebie? I just need one thing to help me on my way and you know what that is. And if you can't do that, at least let me have some grace while dealing with my ish, instead of looking like a crazy all the time.
Thanks so much,
Jen
Sunday, September 5, 2010
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